The Brad Mersereau Show
I’m going to talk about real experiences and lessons learned from life love and the pursuit of happiness. Will we find it? possibly. Are we about it? Most Definitely! Come along for the journey as we venture through the up’s and downs together.
The Brad Mersereau Show
Speak Life: Finding Hope in Times of Heartbreak
We explore the power of "speaking life" into the broken and weary, drawing inspiration from Toby Mac's song and Biblical wisdom on comforting those in pain.
• Small acts of compassion can transform lives and create ripples of positive change
• Modern technology often separates us from meaningful human connection
• Practical ways to help others include volunteering, donating, listening, and remembering names
• Understanding others' struggles helps us respond with empathy rather than judgment
• Heartbreak affects us biologically, with our bodies responding similarly to physical pain
• Healing from heartbreak requires acknowledging emotions, practicing self-care, and seeking support
• Creating "heaven on earth" starts with treating everyone as family and prioritizing connection
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Welcome to the show. Talk about it or be about it. It's the About it Podcast. Here we go. I'm your host, bradley Marslowe. Hey everyone, today's podcast is going to be about the hurting we all experience inside. Some of the most popular TikToks and YouTube videos at the moment have to do with the struggle of that internal pain that so many are experiencing nowadays. It's just something that I wanted to speak to as someone that's been through it and dealt with it. Having this platform gives me a voice, and I want to use it to speak to the brokenhearted and the weary today, in fact, talking about someone that does that exact thing.
Speaker 1:There's a song that helped inspire this episode today, released by Toby Mac in 2012,. It's called Speak Life, the words of which go like this it's like I'm drowning in the deep. Well, it's crazy to imagine the words of my lips as the arms of compassion Mountains crumble with every syllable. Hope can live or die. So speak life. Speak life to the deadest, darkest night. Speak life. Speak life when the sun won't shine and you don't know why. Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted and watch them come alive. As soon as you speak hope, you speak love, you speak life. To me.
Speaker 1:This song is so relevant these days, with all the struggles we're facing from a broken world and the weight we carry with us every day. This logic is needed now more than ever. It reminds me of a couple of verses in the Bible that I wanted to share with you. Jeremiah 29, 11, for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Psalms 34, 18 says the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. These inspire me that there is a silver lining and that something good will come out of the struggle. These inspire me that there is a silver lining and that something good will come out of the struggle. This world does have heartache and sadness in it, but in John 16.33, in this world you will have trouble, but take heart. I have overcome the world and faith comes into action.
Speaker 1:In Romans 15.13, which states May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. And furthermore, other passages show that we are not alone. Philippians 4.13, one of my favorite verses says I can do all things through him who gives me strength. And Isaiah 41.10 says do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Speaker 1:2 Corinthians 1, verse 3-4 states Praise be to the God and the Father of our Lord, jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we received ourselves from God. And that's part of the reason why I'm even here today trying to do the same for you. Lamentations 3, 21 through 24 says that. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this. The faithful love of the Lord never ends. His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness. His mercies begin afresh each morning. That means this never stops. He is always going to be pursuing you, even when you're not pursuing him.
Speaker 1:Psalms 43, 5. Why am I so sad? Why am I so troubled? I will put my hope in God and once again I will praise him, my savior and my God. And 1 Peter 5, 7 says Cast all your anxiety on him Because he cares for you. In fact, he cares for you so much that he sent his only begotten son, jesus, that we should not perish but have everlasting life. And that's john 3 16. And even when jesus ascended to heaven, he gave his promises such as the ones like in john 14, 16 through 17, that says and I will ask the father and he will give you another helper to be with you forever, even the spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive because it neither sees him nor knows him. You will know him, for he dwells within you and with you. John 14, 26 says but the helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. And Romans 8, 26 says in the same way the spirit helps us in our weakness, do not know what we ought to pray for, but the spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. So even when the weight of the world gets too heavy that we can't even speak a prayer, the Holy Spirit himself is interceding for us on our behalf. God loves us that much.
Speaker 1:I think that's a good point. What if we all started interceding for each other on top of not just in our face to face and everyday interactions. But what if we genuinely had everyone's best interest at heart in our thoughts, prayers, actions, all of it? If everybody started walking through life like that, then can you imagine how this world could change if we all weren't in a power struggle together, if we all were trying to get a better position than each other, trying to step over one another. Imagine if we all realized how connected we really were.
Speaker 1:Everybody on this planet is a family, a creation under god, and if we started treating each other that way, then we could create a heaven on earth in a sense. Everyone knows how there's like a battle outside your house and out in the world, and then you come home and it's supposed to be your sanctuary. But what if we could make the world out there a sanctuary too? We are all God's creations. This planet is God's creation, and if we started treating it as such, then we could start to live out some of those promises that we see in the Bible more and more. That's where you'd start to see a spark in society again. Instead of competition, there'd be an acceleration towards growth, towards happiness and joy. You'd see a decline.
Speaker 1:In a lot of the battles we face nowadays, like depression and anxiety and all this, a spirit of renewal would take place, a revival of the soul, a renaissance of compassion and ingenuity, and a sense of your fellow man and human beings. So how can we dig into that more Well, I would start with a quote by the Dalai Lama, and he says that if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. We don't know what others are going through in this world. We walk by them every day, pass them in the restaurants, pass them in the streets, pass them at work, and they could be carrying burdens so heavy that it's debilitating and weighing them down to the point where it's even hard to get up every day. We really just don't know what each other's going through. We're all facing battles and struggles. I wanted to get into a blog post on Zen habits by Leo Babuda a little bit.
Speaker 1:It says too often the trend in our society is for people to be separated from each other, to be cut off from the great mass of humanity and, doing so, to be dehumanized a little bit more. With each step, cars have taken us off the streets where we used to greet each other and stop to chat. Cubicles have taken away a bit of humanity and working, as have factories and even computers. To some extent. Television has planted us firmly in our living room instead of out with other people. Even movie theaters, where many people get together, cuts us off from true conversation because we're staring at a big screen and while not railing against any of these inventions maybe, except perhaps a cubicle what we must guard against is the tendency of that individuality that has us focused on ourselves to the exclusion of our fellow human beings, the tendency towards selfishness rather than giving on, helping ourselves rather than our brothers and sisters in humanity. I'm not saying we're all like that, but it can happen if we're not careful. So yeah, you can see, the modern world is even contributing to the downfall of the societal structure and humanity between each other, a little bit, at least in part.
Speaker 1:There's a Disney movie, in fact, that shows a perfect example of where we could be headed to if we're not careful. It's called WALL-E. So in that movie everyone becomes so self-consumed with comfort and automation and all this that computers, artificial intelligence, robots are controlling everything and people just float around on automated beds and chairs and have screens in front of their face and have absolutely nothing to do with each other. We're all just sucked into the technology, basically a complete loss of humanity, unable to interact with each other or even take care of themselves. So how can we avoid this? We've got to take steps to get back to the old days in some ways, like, instead of looking at our phone screen, sometimes look up, smile, be friendly, have a conversation with a stranger. Sometimes a simple little thing like this can put a smile and warm feeling in someone else's heart and make their day a little better. They might then do the same for others, instead of watching a movie at home.
Speaker 1:Call a charity up to volunteer. You don't have to go to a soup kitchen today. Just look up the number, make a call, make an appointment to volunteer sometime in the next month. It can be whatever charity you like. Volunteering is one of the most amazing things you can do. Take a minute to go to your house. Even donate some things you don't use, or a whole box of some things. Drop them off to a charity. Others can put your clutter to good use. Make a donation Lots of ways to donate to charities online in your local community. Instead of buying yourself a new gadget or outfit, spend that money in a more positive way.
Speaker 1:Stop to help, right? So next time you see someone pulled over with a flat tire or someone in need of help, stop and ask how you can help. Sometimes all they need is a push or the use of your cell phone. How many people have we passed up on the side of the road that might, might, could just use a ride to the nearest gas station to get some gas in their car or something like that? I know I've seen several folks myself in those conditions and I find it hard not to stop. Stop and see what they need and see how I could help. Obviously, there's been some times where I'm on the way to somewhere or I'm just not feeling good that day and I let that take over and keep on going. But it feels so much better to stop and help a fellow man, fellow woman, brother or sister Like I know we have that thought of oh, someone will help them or they probably got someone on the way, but what if they really don't? What could be the difference in them having a good day or having a really bad day? What if we took on more responsibility like that inside and started spreading that around, that kind of logic.
Speaker 1:Other ways you can get involved is someone you know is grieving. Comfort them, offer a hug, a helpful hand, a kind word, a listening ear. That'll go a long way. When someone has lost a loved one or suffered some similar loss or tragedy, you could help someone take action. If someone is in grief, seems to be lost, doesn't know what to do, help them do something. It could be making funeral arrangements. It could be making a doctor's appointment, making phone calls. Do it all yourself. Let them take action too, because it helps in the healing process. Buy yourself Let them take action too, because it helps in the healing process. Buy food for a homeless person. Cash is often a bad idea if it's going for drugs or something like that alcohol, but buying a sandwich or chips or something like that is a good gesture. Be respectful and friendly. You could also lend your ear.
Speaker 1:Often someone's sad, depressed, angry or frustrated just needs someone who will listen. Finning and talking through an issue is a huge help. Help someone on the edge, like if someone's suicidal, urge them to get help. If they don't call a suicide hotline or the doctor yourself to get advice. Let's say, someone's depressed and can't help but sit around a lot and hard to get out of bed and stuff. Help them to get active. A person in your life who wants to get healthy might need a helping hand. Offer to go walking or running together, join a gym together. Once they get started, it can have profound effects and having someone by their side, a teammate, can make all the difference.
Speaker 1:You could even send a nice email, just a quick note telling someone how much you appreciate them, how proud you are of them, or just saying thank you for something they did. Send an old-fashioned letter. Even Imagine what it would be like to open your mailbox and have a handwritten letter from somebody in these days and times. Other ways we could speak life into each other is showing appreciation, even publicly, like praising someone on a blog in front of co-workers, in front of family and some other public way is a great way to make them feel better about themselves. I know donating food can even help, like talking about putting life into someone like I've been there where I'm so hungry and didn't know what to do and eating out of condiment packets even because I didn't have enough money for food, but then I then I found food donation centers and in the times of need I've been at in life and then I've also volunteered at those places. So if you donate food, you know, clean out your cupboard and goods, buy a couple bags of groceries and donate them to a homeless shelter or something like that, a church center. It could make all the difference in someone's life.
Speaker 1:Patience would be another big virtue that we could instill back in society. Sometimes people have a difficulty understanding things or learning to do something right. Learn to be patient with them. Let's have patience with each other again. And something big that I've seen before that really encourages someone. My sister was sick with cancer and she would receive care packages from people and that would make her feel so much better and so much happier Like someone's out there going through it with her. Like, create a care package, put some soup together, you know, some snacks, reading materials, some tea, chocolate, anything you think the person might need or enjoy. It'd be a good pick me up. I've seen it in action.
Speaker 1:And a big way you could help even is lend your voice. Like, often, the powerless, the homeless, the neglected in our world need someone to speak up for them. You don't have to take on the cause by yourself, but join others in signing a petition, speaking up on a council meeting, writing letters and otherwise making a need heard. Let's say you have some parents that need a break. Offer to babysit for them. If a friend or other loved one in your life doesn't get the chance very often, call them and offer to babysit sometime. Set up an appointment. It can make a big difference.
Speaker 1:And just love. Simply finding ways to express your love to others, whether it be your partner, child or family member, friend, coworker or complete stranger. Just express your love. A hug, a kind word, spending time, showing a little kindness, being friendly. It all matters, more than you know. William Shakespeare even says how far that little candle throws its beams, so shines a good deed in a weary world. We can really do a lot of good for each other if all we do is seek to first understand and then be understood Like. Imagine that fellow who cut you off in traffic. Maybe it's because he's rushing to his daughter's hospital visit or, after a grueling meeting with his boss, trying to get home to his family. Maybe that barista that was rude to you in preparing your coffee. Maybe it's because he's terribly sleep deprived after working two consecutive jobs the day before.
Speaker 1:Acknowledge your fellow man's presence when someone steps into the room or in the conversation. Say a simple hi. Don't ignore people and pretend they don't exist. Remember names. Make extra effort to remember someone's name. I mean, I know I struggle with this sometimes, but it goes a long way. This one will capture someone's attention all the time. We can even practice bringing up something relevant to each other, like oh, I noticed that you were reading the Game of Thrones novel on the bus just now. Are you a fan of the TV series? There's one example. Another one would be like. Another one would be something like you know, last time you mentioned that you were into public speaking, I came across a conference which you might be interested in.
Speaker 1:Be relevant with your fellow man. Notice if they're reading a certain book or something and ask them about it. See if they're following the TV series that goes along with it. Notice something that they're interested in, like hey, I noticed you like Jurassic Park. Are you excited about the latest movie coming out? Compliment them, ask them how their day is. Say, oh, you got a really nice tie on today. I like that jacket. More specific the better. And we got to start doing things without expecting anything in return. Say your colleague likes donuts, get him a donut while you're out on lunch break. No strings attached. If your friend is going through a rough time, spend some quality time with him or her and listen. No judgment, no self-serving agenda, no strings attached.
Speaker 1:Let's say the family behind you and the queue lines struggling to pay their bill for groceries or the restaurant tab step up and pay for it like a boss. You know what I mean. Just like a straight line is the shortest distance between two points. Victor Borg says that laughter is the shortest distance between two people. Let's say someone screws up? Okay, step in and help and laugh the mistake off.
Speaker 1:Don't take life and things too seriously. It's not the end of the world. Try to be real with people you know so they're struggling to get a project done. Help them. Say me too, I would rather swallow some ticks than take on those numbers. Encourage them. Yeah, it might suck, but tell them you know they can do this. Help them to get through it. I mean, it might be a real marathon you're going through or someone else, but if someone steps in and agrees with them that it's tough, that yeah, I would have a hard time doing this myself that can make them feel like they have a partner in it. To stop putting up pretenses. Just be real. Just understand that we are all human. Nobody is perfect in making mistakes and screwing up as a part of life and a part of the journey to success. Everyone will eventually have a bad day, but a bad day doesn't mean a bad life. We're all in this together, this amazing adventure and journey called life.
Speaker 1:To sum up some of the lessons and things I've learned along the way helping folks out, it can mean a lot of things, but and it can take a lot of forms some things that can make all the difference. And to some of some of the lessons I've learned emotional support, like being there to listen, offer empathy, can make a significant difference in someone's life, especially during tough times. Practical assistance, like helping with daily tasks such as running errands, cooking or providing childcare, can relieve stress and provide much needed support. And you can share your knowledge. Even offering your expertise or skills, let's say, whether through tutoring, mentoring or simply sharing information, can empower others to help them grow, offer encouragement and motivation. So supporting someone in pursuing their goals, for example, overcoming challenges, can boost their confidence and resilience and advocacy. Standing up for someone in need, whether in personal situations or broader social issues, can help amplify their voice and facilitate change. Ultimately, showing genuine care and understanding is what makes all the difference.
Speaker 1:Let me speak to those with a broken heart too. I've been there to where I can't sleep, I can't eat, hard to continue on in life. Healing from a broken heart involves acknowledging and processing emotions that are hard to deal with. Prioritizing self-care and seeking support is one of the big things To process. It takes time, patience and self-compassion. You gotta allow yourself to feel. Don't suppress your emotions. It's normal to feel sadness, anger and guilt after a breakup. You gotta lean into your feelings Instead of trying to ignore or distract yourself. Allow yourself to experience the emotions fully. Sometimes journaling or talking can help, like writing down your thoughts and feelings. Talking to a trusted friend, family member, therapist are a big help and can help process your emotions. And just don't get stuck. While it's important to feel your feelings, try not to dwell on them excessively.
Speaker 1:Prioritizing your self-care can involve focusing on activities you enjoy engaging in hobbies, pursuing passions or trying new things that bring you joy and relaxation. Sometimes the old things you used to do are hard to do again. Finding new joys can really be a big help. Try exercising. Physical activity can be a great way to release stress and improve your mood. I know it can be hard to get out there and do that, but just going out and breathing in some fresh air and getting some sunshine on your face can make all the difference. Spending time in nature, connecting with nature, can be therapeutic and reduce stress as well. Healthy eating prioritizing your physical health and well-being by eating nutritious foods and getting enough sleep. I know there's anxiety and sleep medications the doctor can prescribe you if you're having a hard time with that. I've had to go through some of those myself.
Speaker 1:Practicing mindfulness can be a big deal. Engaging in activities like meditation or deep breathing exercises to center you and ground yourself, manage stress, to bring you back down to down to earth some, instead of being stuck in your head. Seeking support is something I've had to do, like. Talking to friends and family, sharing my feelings and finding those people that offer support and understanding have helped me along the way. Just remember healing takes time. Be patient with yourself. Allow yourself the time and space to heal. Some other tips I can give you are avoiding triggers like eliminating exposure to things that remind you of your exes or past relationships, such as places, music or photos. Try to find some positive perspective or lessons learned from your experience. Find meaning in the breakup. Where can this lead to? Don't rush into new relationships Again. Allow yourself that time and space. Just rediscover yourself before jumping into something else. Keep practicing that self-compassion. Remember to treat yourself with kindness and understanding throughout your healing process. To conclude, I'm gonna get into a blog post from calmcom on how to mend a broken heart practical steps to heal and recover, and it has some good knowledge in it.
Speaker 1:Heartbreak can be painful, but there are ways to cope and feel better. Learning how to mend a broken heart and support yourself throughout the recovery process can be hard but possible. Heartbreak is one of the most painful emotional experiences we face, but healing is possible. If you're wondering how to heal a broken heart or how to get over heartbreak, you're not alone. Whether heartbreak stems from the end of a romantic relationship, a deep loss, grieving, unfulfilled expectations, learning how to deal with heartbreak can help you move forward with compassion and clarity. Once you know why heartbreak can be so painful and feel so awful, you can recognize and understand the different stages of it, and exploring the practical steps to your recovery. Easing emotional pain and helping you heal from heartbreak in a healthy and empowering way can lead you forward. Once you know the emotions and the feelings you can expect and how you can move through the journey with more self-compassion and self-awareness, you can find yourself in that better place. So, yeah, why are heartbreaks so painful?
Speaker 1:On a biological level, our bodies sometimes react to heartbreak in a similar way to how it responds to physical pain. Our brains may perceive heartbreak as emotional pain and it may respond by releasing stress hormones like cortisol. These hormones can cause physical symptoms such as tight and heavy chest, trouble sleeping, appetite loss which I've all experienced myself and psychologically, heartbreak can bring a mix of emotions like sadness, loss and even grief. We might also battle feelings of inadequacy, face a dip in our self-esteem. When we're brokenhearted, we're not just losing a person, but also the dreams, plans and future we envision with them. The loss spans multiple levels, making it complex. The loss spans multiple levels, making it complex. The law spans multiple levels, making it a complex emotional challenge to overcome. When you acknowledge the real effects of heartbreak has on your wellbeing, you can pave the way for healing and recovery.
Speaker 1:There's a broken heart syndrome, also known as tachostubo cardiomyopathy. It's a temporary heart condition triggered by intense emotional or physical stress, like losing a loved one or expecting a major shock, but that a sudden urge of stress. Hormones like adrenaline lead to these changes and it causes symptoms similar to a heart attack, such as chest pain and shortness of breath. But it doesn't result from blocked arteries. Instead, the heart's left ventricle temporarily weakens and changes shape even. The condition is usually reversible with proper treatment, but it highlights a powerful connection between emotional health and physical well-being.
Speaker 1:Again, some more practical steps for healing from a broken heart. There are no two ways about it. Healing from a broken heart takes time. If you've been pondering the question, how do I get over a breakup, you may be hoping that there's a quick fix. Unfortunately, when it comes to dealing with grief and loss, the only way out is through. Even so, it can help you feel more grounded if you have an actual plan, and the following five steps can help you make it through that. So, just like I've said before in this article from Calm again, these steps are as follows Allowing yourself to feel those emotions.
Speaker 1:It is normal to feel sad, angry and confused, but don't squash it down. Running from your feelings only works for so long, setting healthy boundaries if your heartbreak stems from a breakup. So, like most experts agree that cutting ties communication with the next is wise. After a breakup, if you hope to one day be friends, it can be tempting to want to stay looped in with them, but if that staying in touch is painful, take a break from communication. This might be unfollowing them on social media or politely declining to meet until you're ready. Protect your emotional well-being during this sensitive time. Same advice goes for anyone experiencing heartbreak or loss of a friend or taking space from a family member.
Speaker 1:And again, focus on self-care. Whether you're experiencing heartbreak because a relationship ended or if it's because you lost someone you love, be sure to take care of your body and mind. Do your best to get enough sleep, although it can be hard with your racing mind. Try to eat some nourishing food. Stay active as you can. General activities like yoga, meditation, even a walk outdoors, can reduce stress and help you feel more grounded. Try to reconnect with your passions and interests.
Speaker 1:If you're heartbroken due to a relationship ending, this time in life can be a great opportunity to redirect your attention back to yourself and reconnect with your own life. Consider rediscovering old hobbies or trying new activities that bring you joy. Doing things you love can shift your focus from the pain and help you regain a sense of purpose and identity. This can mean attending a pottery class or learning to crochet, even. And I say again, and I always recommend, seek the support if you need it when all else fails. You know that you don't have to go through this alone. Share your feelings with those friends and family members and go see a therapist. Sometimes professional guidance can help you navigate the healing process more effectively, and it always feels better to go through a difficult time with someone who has your back each week.
Speaker 1:So, in coping with the heartbreak, I leave you with the following eight tips to navigate this Allow yourself to grieve. Seek the support to help you cope. Practice self-care. Lean into healthy habits. Set boundaries with your ex-partner. Focus on your goals and dreams. Practice mindful techniques. Remind yourself that healing takes time. Mental struggles, depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, heartbreak all of that. I pray that God blesses you and comforts you, stays with you and shows you the way forward. I pray that healing comes quick and that stress disappears in your life. It's never going to be totally gone, but I pray that you find the light on the other side of that tunnel. I know all too well how painful and grueling that going through the trenches can be with all this, so I just pray that God brings healing and fullness to your life again. Again, I just want to thank you so much for joining me on this podcast. Please follow, like, subscribe, share with a friend, leave a review on the podcast and have a wonderful life. Thank you.
